Let's Get Serious!!   SPEW 2005
                                                                                  September 19, 2003
                      Dear American,

                      Last year only 12 million people tuned in to the Miss
                      America Pageant for the crowning of Miss Illinois
                      Erika Harold, fewest ever and 1.6 million fewer than
                      in 2001.
                      How many will watch the pageant this Saturday night?

                        Dismayed to learn that Tom Bergeron, host of
                      "Hollywood Squares" and "America's Funniest Home
                      Videos," will be master of ceremonies at this year's
                      Miss America pageant telecast, concerned Americans
                      have formed SPEW (Save Pageant Everyone Wants).

                      SPEW recognizes that it is a step up for Bergeron but
                      a long way down the slippery slope for what our
                      president has called "one of America's most
                      heritigeous institutions". For years the pageant has
                      been adrift, trying out one and then another host
                      without finding one who has what it takes to lead the
                      pageant into a new American century.

                      For many Americans the only name that comes to mind,
                      when the Miss America Pageant is mentioned, is Bert
                      Parks. Younger Americans don't know who Parks is and
                      have no name at all to associate with the pageant.

                      SPEW, recognizing the need for continuity in the
                      hosting of the pageant, as well as the selection of a
                      personality who represents the necessary character and
                      vigor America requires in the more dangerous era, sees
                      James Gandolfini as among the best candidates for
                      permanent pageant host. Gandolfini, now forty-two,
                      could host the pageant for decades to come and revive
                      an institution vital to America's national identity.

                      SPEW asks all Americans to remember that we are not
                      the only people who watch the pageant. Think how it
                      harms America's image when Osama and Saddam see a game
                      show host hosting the pageant that is a national
                      tradition and treasure. Terrorists can only take
                      comfort from seeing the "world's largest provider of
                      scholarship assistance for young women" ($45 million
                      this year) hosted by a game show host.

                      Note: SPEW is not against game shows or game show
                      hosts, but finds it unconscionable that a game show
                      host would be selected at such a time as this.
                      California shows how true this is. Game show hosts
                      are not considered serious candidates for the office of
                      governor in that state.

                      SPEW urges all Americans to ask the Miss America
                      Pageant to select a host such as James Gandolfini as a
                      permanent host for the pageant.
 

                 Responses